Monday, May 19, 2008

Classified Ads in newspapers

Things that brainy's around the globe publish funny ads in newspaper...

  • 1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer
  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
  • Washing machine: free to good home.
  • No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
  • Great Dames for sale.
  • Lost Cocktail.
  • German Shepherd 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
  • Free ducks. You catch.
  • Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
  • Snow blower for sale...only used on snowy days.
  • 2 wire mesh butchering gloves: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15
  • Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks
  • Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.
  • Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
  • Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
  • Carpal Tunnel Syndrome - Free Sample!
  • Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
  • Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.
  • Wanted. Hunting rifle, suitable for teenagers.
  • Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.
  • Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months.
  • Government employer looking for candidates. Criminal background required.
  • For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
  • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
  • We'll move you worldwide throughout the country.
  • Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
  • Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
  • Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
  • Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
  • 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
  • Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included."
  • Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Non-sense in restaurant

  • Open seven days a week. Closed Sundays.

  • Parking for drive-through customers only.

  • Eat Here - Get Gas

  • Hot drinks to take out or sit in.

  • Please consume all food on premises.

  • Do you get rice with your fried rice?

  • Would you like to care for a cup of coffee?

  • Is the honey mustard sauce sweet?

  • Is the spicy chicken just spicy or is it hot and spicy?

Execute .Them...

Ever wonder how good is you parents or teachers English...
Here are some of lines that i came across some of the excuse letters...

  • Dear School: Please ekscuse kumar being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.

  • Laksmi has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face

  • Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.

  • My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.

  • Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.

  • Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

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