Classified Ads in newspapers

Things that brainy's around the globe publish funny ads in newspaper...

• 1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer
  

• We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

• Washing machine: free to good home.

• No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.

• Great Dames for sale.

• Lost Cocktail.

• German Shepherd 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.

• Free ducks. You catch.

• Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.

• Snow blower for sale...only used on snowy days.

• 2 wire mesh butchering gloves: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15

• Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks

• Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.

• Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

• Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

• Carpal Tunnel Syndrome - Free Sample!

• Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

• Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.

• Wanted. Hunting rifle, suitable for teenagers.

• Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.

• Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months.

• Government employer looking for candidates. Criminal background required.

• For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

• Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

• We'll move you worldwide throughout the country.

• Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

• Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

• Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

• Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

• 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

• Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included."

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