Monday, May 19, 2008

Classified Ads in newspapers

Things that brainy's around the globe publish funny ads in newspaper...

  • 1 man, 7 woman hot tub -- $850/offer
  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
  • Washing machine: free to good home.
  • No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
  • Great Dames for sale.
  • Lost Cocktail.
  • German Shepherd 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German. Free.
  • Free ducks. You catch.
  • Amana washer $100. Owned by clean bachelor who seldom washed.
  • Snow blower for sale...only used on snowy days.
  • 2 wire mesh butchering gloves: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, pair: $15
  • Shakespeare's Pizza - Free Chopsticks
  • Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.
  • Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.
  • Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.
  • Carpal Tunnel Syndrome - Free Sample!
  • Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
  • Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.
  • Wanted. Hunting rifle, suitable for teenagers.
  • Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.
  • Buy your new bedroom suite from us, and we will stand behind it for six months.
  • Government employer looking for candidates. Criminal background required.
  • For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
  • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
  • We'll move you worldwide throughout the country.
  • Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
  • Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
  • Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!
  • Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
  • 3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.
  • Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included."
  • Illiterate? Write today for free help.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

hi, thanks fo rdropping by, see you around

Anonymous said...

hello, the list are funny. i can imagine could happen to me

Anonymous said...

hi, hope you visit my blog and drop some comment, that blog are very useful

arnie said...

you really do have a unique and funny style of writing. Great!
Keep it up!

4ever7 said...

I love the joke about the DAMES!

arnie said...

haha..funny!

MamaGirl said...

That's very funny... by the way, I already linked you to my blog... thanks for doing the same!

trancepass said...

nice post...
very funny.
keep blogging.

Ciela said...

Those lines lighten up my day. Very amusing!

 
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